December 29, 2010


An old man once a revered cartoonist is now forgotten, hence bitter. Once his works in local magazines, newspapers and comics were most sought after.Now it’s all a thing of the past.Times have changed so has people’s interest.His recent works haven’t been getting any kind of desired attention.He’s financially almost broke,thanks to his erratic spending and bad investments.Living poorly through small pensions and meager royalty.Of all the many prizes and recognitions he has received over time,he ranks Padma Bhushan to be his biggest achievement He decides to auction it for two reasons.Firstly to amass enough money from the proceedings for better living and secondly to show people with the help of the media the plight of an artist in a country where money scores over art. False ambitions take over desires and dreams.

Old Man-Yes.I've decided,I'm hellbent on giving it away.
Friend -C'mon it's the biggest thing you have earned.It's the
symbol of your entire life's work and success.
Old Man-Well,I'll still have the pencil and paper.Though my
vision now is blurry and hands frail and shaky,I can still draw.I still have the will to draw and most importantly the will to live.
Friend -You should rather auction your will.I bet that will fetch you more money.
Old Man-That is probably a part in everyone which never wilts away with time.

The Day of the Auction.
To the Old man's dismay he hardly sees any media people in the lobby and even fewer bidders.A lady accompanied by her school going son,around six years of age successfully lands the bid.After the proceedings they go ahead and meet the old man.

Old Man-Hello!
Boy -Hello sir.
Old Man-Did you understand what all was happening in here?
Boy -No,sir.But I do want to tell you that I want to be an
Astronaut .I never want to be a painter or a cartoonist
or any other artist,because Mother tells me such people
don't earn enough and there's no stability in fi..nen...
(mother gives the boy 'don't say that' look.At the same time
her cellphone rings for which she thanks her stars and
readily excuses herself to receive it)
Old Man-You meant finance,right?
Boy -Yes.Finance.
Old Man-And why do you want to become an astronaut,son?And what does an astronaut do?
Boy -I don't know sir.But it sounds nice.I'd like to be called as an astronaut someday.
Old Man-You should not choose things or in this matter
profession on the basis of how it sounds,besides a musical instrument.It's much more than that.
Boy -I'd still like to be an astronaut.

Mother from a few distance,"C'mon son we have to leave,it's urgent
Papa had called.Say bye to sir."

Boy starts to leave the lobby with his mother.Watching this makes the old man unusually retreat to his glory days.Happy days.But now in a state of utter sadness he removes his spectacles and wipes its frame with a handkerchief,his heavily wrinkled hands shaking while doing so.He looks up and sees the boy running towards him.For once he assumes he's dreaming.
Boy -Will I ever become an astronaut,sir?(panting)
Old Man-The answer is in the question itself.It's the first word.
Boy -What?...Oh!I'd have to become Will Smith first.I've seen him fight the aliens in the movies.He's cool.
Old Man-Ha ha!By the way my name is William and you are?

July 23, 2010


Perhaps,in a year or two a metro railway will stand over this lane.Wonder how beneficial would it be.Will it become a prime target for terrorists?Anyway, completion is eagerly awaited.

My audacity to upload this bad quality picture makes me cringe.Notice the lonesome stray dog at the right bottom of the pic,I think it's looking for his/her bitch early in the morning.

June 16, 2010

'Bottoms Up'

As discontentment hits me to its supreme level,I decide to revive this blog after,to what it seems a three month sabbatical(not that I was busy all this time.)Being utterly careless,taking everything for granted including time.But there's this little flicker of hope,which assures me that everything will fall into the right place.

The base level of human existence,The Common Man,whose primary aim is to earn money for which he has to struggle every day,work under superiors,put up a brave face etc.I personally believe that one has made something out of his/her life only when they inspire.As George Best rightly said,"Even if one person thinks I'm the best,it will be enough for me".To be as funny as Chaplin.As poetic as Tagore.As simple as Gandhi.As genius as Einstein.As powerful as Robert de Niro's performance.As crazy as Jack Nicholson.As dangerous as Heath Ledger's Joker.As naive as Forrest Gump.As gritty as S.Waugh.Golden voice that of David Gilmour.As loyal as Karna.As legendary as The Beatles.As best as George Best.The list is endless.No evil eye will be able to cut through the mysticism and aura that surround such people.The only thing we can do is feel inferior in front of them.

And there are some people like Paris Hilton,Britney,Rakhi Sawant and countless teenage stars those who don't even deserve fame but have everything.A big FUCK YOU to them.

People say it's hard at the top, but it's even harder at the bottom.-Ozzy Osbourne.

P.S-I wish I was smart enough to understand each and every bit of High Hopes video.

March 4, 2010

Naughty India

It's kind of a movie moment where in an attractive woman standing or walking all pretty in a more or less crowded area is the centre of attraction for many men around.For instance 10-15 men within a radius of 20-30 metres will ogle or stare inconveniently at her.It gets funny when each out of those 15 men take a turn to have a sly glance at his fellow 14 onlookers and will console self for the fact that he is not the only one checking her out.All this 'analysis' and those subtle eye movements quickly gets over within a span of 10 seconds or less,assumingly.Every man will have their own description for the desired lady.The first one will say she's simply beautiful.The second will call her hot.The third person will probably say she's a slut and the rest might say 'Kya maal/item hai'.Fear of being judged or getting embarrassed are the reason for the no. of onlookers to get restricted to 15 than the potential 25-30.They also refrain from this procedure since they don't want to be a part of the 'uncultured' group.It's a hypocritical and judgemental world we're living in.Victim of our own society.

Those subtle eye movements.It's an art which many master as time progresses.The natures ultimate scanner which are of two types.The straight eye look and the corner of the eye look.I'd prefer the former one,but there are instances when your mind gives you orders,'Mahn she looks amazing,she deserves a second look'.And naturally your roving eyes responds to your mind's sheepish demand.

We Indians build a wall of guilt around us regarding lust.It's all chee and 'dirty' if you happen to lust for someone especially if the desired person is married.I can see couples showering their PDA for each other out of lust or genuine'louve'in movie theatres,beaches,gardens,isolated areas and even in railway stations.It's everywhere.Naughty India is the new India.Does it annoy me?Not at all.Firstly I don't care and secondly I don't belong to any pro-Hindu groups.

Vatsyayana is India's true ancient unsung hero.Foreigners are more interested in his works than us Indians,but India is still naughty in its own pretentious way.

March 1, 2010

Filmfar(c)e Awards

A front page image in today's leading newspaper showcased Deepika Padukone shaking her booty on stage,didn't tantalise me much,but the rest of the content sure did bring out an emotion.Hate.Forbid filmfare awards and all its like till the fraternity get replaced by unbiased and fair moderators.But I still follow Filmfare awards.The hypocrite in me doesn't allow me to ignore this event.I even enjoy some of the witty humour churned out by Ass-RK and his gay partner host.However these awards still gives me many reasons to hate them even more.Plus it adds as a good topic to discuss on with friends.Then despise them even further and kind of feel vindicated on such a trivial matter.

It has always been favouritism in such award ceremonies.Amitabh deservingly won Best Actor for Paa but why wasn't there a nomination for Abhay Deol in DevD atleast he was better than Saif Ali Khan or Ranbir Kapoor in APKGK.Anurag Kashyap snubbed again for Best Director.3 Idiots previous years biggest overrated movie bags all the popular awards.And what's with the critic award,worthy candidates get kicked on their backside and this kick is concealed by presenting this 'sympathy' award.Atleast Aamir has the balls to stand up against this bias and favouritism.How come I forgot Katrina Kaif's comical nomination for New York,what a joke.Heck I should now get a Filmfare for this worthless rant of mine.One can easily predict the coming year's awards.Best Actor will be either SRK for MNIK or Hrithik for Guzaarish.Vidya Balan's award for Ishqiya will be ignored for Kajol.Best movie will be MNIK for its so called 'good message'and blockbuster status.

February 23, 2010

Salim Langde pe mat ro

Don't cry for Salim,this English translated title sounds even more amusing than the original title.Besides that the cast is not far from being fascinating either.Salim,the protagonist is played by Pawan Malhotra(fame Nukkad,Black Friday)a uneducated small time petty thief.His partners in crime are Abdul(Ashutosh Gowarikar) and Peera(Makrand Deshpande).

This movie starts off amazingly with a well directed scene where Salim is walking aimlessly in the middle of the road with a certain swagger.At the same time he narrates in a typical slang Bombay accent that he's one of the many Salims around here,but he's different because of his unusual walking style,hence the nickname Langda.Promises the viewers to tell his real life story and jokingly states it will have its fair share of lies.After that every thing goes downhill.The movie gets way too predictable,as in Salim's misfortune of being a part of a backward minority ghetto,his morals playing hide and seek,'I can't do nothing to come out of this situation' syndrome.And also tends to get very preachy,but a few might feel different.It has nothing new to offer except for Ashutosh Gowariker's bad acting and even dancing(imagine him dancing in a movie in today's time,would be even more priceless.Good that he ventured into direction).Pawan Malhotra's acting is good but far less better than Black Friday.It's a pity that an actor of such caliber is so underrated and overlooked in Bollywood.All he now gets to do is forgettable roles with a meager 10-12 minutes of screen time.This movie came out in 1989 it was that period where parallel cinema was dying a slow death.All of a sudden Switzerland was the new desired location for commercial cinema in the early nineties.It won a National Award for cinematography.It's amazing how your city looked for good or for bad some 20 years ago.Perhaps I'll be biased,in denial or be true/false in saying that Bombay of the 70s and 80s looks much better than today's Mumbai in movies.That's the beauty of cinema,not only it inspires but also makes you wonder.

February 18, 2010

The Good,the Bad and the Ugly

The standoff scene from this movie is simply awe-inspiring.Clint Eastwood is STYLE personified,so is the entire movie.The build up to this finale induces thrill,heightens tension and what not.Ennio Morricone's captivating background score accentuates the beauty of this standoff even further.Everlasting!

January 30, 2010

Laziness='Coolness' ??

The most common aspects I've come across in almost every interesting blog I ventured into are laziness and procrastination.Somehow,shamelessly I feel happy for the fact that I'm no different.Thus,there are people far away with whom I can relate to.It's like a satisfaction which serves no purpose,really.

Out of all this I've come to this bitter conclusion that laziness is like the 'in thing'.It's like a fashion statement."I'm lazy and I'm proud to be one" is like a macho thing to say now-a-days.As i say again I'm no different.I belong to the same category and it's not a nice feeling.I have made this observation that we lazy people have this notion that we belong to the interesting breed,whereas the general assumption of the 'others' are that we're plain boring.

The inability to overcome laziness is profound.Activities are like forever forsaken.Laziness gets a strong grip over you even before you realise it. It's like a disease,which most of us enjoy being a victim of.
The only positive for me to come out of laziness is that it unknowingly prompted me to resort to blogging which in turn gives me an opportunity to know more about myself and it also gives me the space to rant out my opinions.

P.S-hate to use the word coooool but exceptions can be made.

January 27, 2010

Porno Conversation

WARNING-This post has been published with the sole intention to turn you off(literally or metaphorically).People who think otherwise need not read further.

Here is a short tale about A and B,both someday dream to become tycoons of a porn empire through joint venture.Their journey from being mere explorers of porn to now wanting to erect(no pun intended)a porn industry is unknown.

One breezy evening.
Location-Outside a tea stall near Chinchpokli station.

A:Lets get straight to the point,about our dream.
B:Yeah it's time to get serious.But there's one roadblock.
B:There's no scope for porn business in India.
A:Haven't you heard of revolution.Don't worry.We'll make it big.We'll make this world a better place.Just that it should not turn out be a non-profit organisation,like an NGO for all the perverts around.
B:Look who is talking.
A:Huh?Anyways we require a lot of capital to start this project.
B:Who in his/her right mind will be ready to invest in our project.
A:We'll have to burn our own pockets then.What about actors?who will be ready to 'perform' in our movies.
B:We'll rope in Rakhi Sawant and KRK.
A:What?You're sick.
B:I'm not sick it's the world which is sick.
A:You're not a part of this world?You an alien?
B:*speechless* *curses self for losing spontaneity*.Lets not divert
from this topic.Listen KRK and Rakhi will do anything for fame and attention,plus the media is crazy about them.Our project will get the much needed publicity and that movie will sell like hot cakes.
A:I see it man.We are on our way to become millionaires now.
B:Yes,we'll kick Ambani's ass.

After half an hour of further discussion..

A:Bore ho raha hai.This porn thing is getting tedious.Lets have a cutting chai and then leave for home.

The day after they meet again.

A:Dude I checked out this amazing chick in N.A
B:Was she a Blonde or a Brunette?
A:Neither.She's a Redhead.

Enters C

C:I've been slyly giving ear to your plans.I'm willing to join as a 'performer'.
A:What makes you think that you can make a potential porn star.
C:Perhaps,I have this hidden talent which I need to find.To show the world that I'm capable of doing other weird stuffs with my nose.
A:Multitask.Ok.You're in.

That C turned out be Himesh Reshamiya.

January 22, 2010

Of NightProwler & The NightStalker

NightProwler a song by AC/DC rides my imagination.Each and every line of this song gives you a mental picture which is NOT graphic or violent at all as the title may suggest.It goes like a story which has a start with an end.The melody of this rock ballad is good,especially the introduction/opening riffs which ofcourse has a dark undertone to it.Bon Scott's screechy vocals suits well for this song.AC/DC stated that NightProwler is a song about a boy who is trying to sneak into his girlfriend's room without letting her parents know about it.Though Richard Ramirez,The NightStalker, thought otherwise.

Richard Ramirez whom the media dubbed as the NightStalker is a serial killer who terrorised Los Angeles in the mid 1980's.He not only took Nightprowler as an inspiration but it also added fuel to fire for his burning desire to kill.Ramirez was apprehended after 7 months of killing spree,convicted and later was sentenced to death through gas chamber in 1989.21 years on the execution is still pending.Shockingly during this period Ramirez received countless letters of affection from women who fantasize him(some of them even go the length of posting their reply letters on Youtube).Even more shocking is the fact that one of them even went on to marry him in jail and has vowed to commit suicide the day Ramirez will be executed.

Richard Ramirez never showed any remorse.This is what he said after receiving the death penalty.

"You don't understand me. You are not expected to. You are not capable of it. I am beyond your experience. I am beyond good and evil.I will be avenged. Lucifer dwells within us all. That's it"

January 7, 2010


I secretly enjoy watching this show.There is a sense of nostalgia attached to it.I remember I was in 5th grade when CID aired for the first time on television.I have vague memories of its first episode, something relating to the cyanide case.12 years on this show is still going strong.I'm one of those unassuming,reluctant,loyal fan of this comedy show which pretends to be dramatic.

CID comprises the usual bunch of kind hearted cops with mean exteriors.Pradyuman is the no-nonsense,in your face ACP(the pic shows it).Then there are two senior inspectors,burly Daya and his buddy Abhijeet.Jr.Inspector Fredricks gives a comical twist to the show.Dr.Salunkhe,the forensic lab scientist,is more of a genius than an expert.It's high time that the entire scientific world SHOULD marvel and take notice of his findings and magical experiments.Even the peaceful souls of those deceased veteran scientists will get disturbed.Salunke is very image conscious,gets real serious when someone makes a joke about his hair transplant.

Most of the scenes are shot in the bylanes of the city,which I find amusing since it reminds of those vintage middle of the road Hindi movies.
Other than that there is a lot of unrealistic 'positives'that I can highlight on.The near ones of the victim directly call CID and not the Police.The cases get over in 2-3 days.Their predictions are always dead right.The way the case unfolds is funny.The dialogues are even more funny.

Some of the recurring gems(dialogues)of this show.Mainly delivered by ACP Pradyuman.
-Daya darwaza thod do.
-Yeh chakkar kya hai(by making gestures with his fingers)
- MY GOD!!
-Question-Aap log kaun?..Answer-Hum CID(and the look on their face is priceless)

And the parting shot by ACP.
-Ab ya toh tume faasi hogi ya jail me bhaitke chakki pisna(says it with utmost disdain)
*standing ovation*
Albeit Daya's slap during the end takes the cake with cherry on top.

I remember during school days there was this sad joke which was making rounds.Full form of CID is chutney,idli,dosa.And I would laugh at such jokes not even grin.Baaaaaaahh,now I'm embarrassed.

January 2, 2010

New Year

Happy New Year as they say.Happy about what??.Happy for another looming terrorist attack.Traffic.Concrete jungle.Competition which leads to jealousy.Invasion of yo-yoness culture.Aishwarya Rai's annoying giggle.Endless advertisements(I miss the Fevicol ones though.)

But I'm real happy and excited about the Fifa Football World Cup.June awaits.

Hopefully I'll do something productive this year,have to.My vision for future is still a blur