February 16, 2011


This ain't no post about the gap between the rich and the poor or a man and a woman.It's just the differences we or I see in people when it comes to movies,music and fashion.

-'I have seen better movies than you have'
We've all been there or will be there.The sooner we realise that we're a part of this bandwagon the better it is,because you will at some point or the other come across people who'll give the impression of the aforementioned phrase and at that very moment you might feel content that you have 'grown up' and passed this pompous phase.
-'No matter what,I'm going to hate this film'
People from this group assume themselves to be cool and different.Generally they'll hate the movie which is liked by many.A hate signal is already lodged in their mind even before watching the film.And thereby feel superior in their own little space of coolth and vanity.
-'We hate Bollywood because we've been seduced by Hollywood'
Now,this is another cool group.The flag bearers of this group believe that Hollywood is the ultimate brand of world class cinema.Agreed that some of the Hindi films have been a blatant rip-off of Hollywood,including the name itself.And how amazingly they try to cover it by using the word 'inspired'.In spite of this Bollywood holds originality in the form of being OTT,unrealistic fairytale cinema.So does Hollywood,but the difference is that they do it in a more discreet and zany manner(Oh!As if nobody knew).Not always,though.There are some Bollywood classics that surely is worth watching(here I show shades of the first group I pointed out)with of course a lot of patience and an unbiased mind-frame.
-'Movies for the masses and some for the classes'
Here lies the real difference.Difference in taste,choice and perhaps in appearance.Sooner or later this gap might be abridged.

All of the points I mentioned in the movies category will also hold true over here IMO,though I will add in a few more points.
-'You have to listen to this song,anyhow.It's the best thing you will ever hear.I bet .I swear.Blah blah'
There is a subtle difference between recommending and imposing your likeness for a particular song or music on some one else.There will be high chances that you will not get a favourable review,unless the opposite person believes in your choice and taste and of course when not being prejudiced.
-'In our times good music were made,not anymore.'
Uncles and aunties who come up with this ever expected sentence normally rile you up,since they believe that we the present don't bother or respect music from their era.This is not true because a classic in its true sense will always remain a classic.They are oblivious of this fact that we most of us do appreciate good music,be it old or new.Ironically even our generation thinks that music from the bygone era were much better in comparison to the current ones,which is mostly plagiarised or westernized.Completely agreed.Times have changed.Not for good,I believe,mainly for the music industry.Now,here the Justin Bieber reference seems imminent.But I'll try to refrain from it since it has been so done to death.But still if a person in her/his early twenties or more comes up to me and proclaims that Justin Bieber's a music prodigy then I'd seriously wish that this world would come to an end even before it reaches 2012.

This is a subject which I have zero knowledge about.Give me a T-shaart,a jeans and a common footwear,it will work for me.I better not get a pink t-shirt which is so amazingly repulsive.A guy wearing a pink shirt is termed to be gay,naturally.But when Hrithik Roshan wears a tight pink shirt with its top two buttons undone,he then is considered to be a uber cool metrosexual stud.Yeah right.

February 7, 2011

Porno Conversation Part-2.

WARNING-This part is even more 'dirtier' than the previous one.Highly deplorable words have been used at will.It's distastefully written filled with cheap humour.So,read at your own peril.And still if you have the balls and indecency to read it,then I shall say sorry well in advance.

Exactly after a year and 10 days later,A and B decide to meet again to give their dream another shot.

One not so breezy evening.
Location-At some bar in Bandra.

A:We got to implant some ideas into our head man,soon,to give our
dream a lift.
B:But my brain isn't ejaculating any ideas anymore.
A:Wait.I've got an idea.Lets make it like a typical Karan Johar
movie.Two would be lovers meet,fight,become friends and then finally
fall in love.But for a change the movie will culminate into a love making
scene with full aesthetics.Unison of two hearts
B:Yeah.Cuming together of two hearts.We'll name the movie Dil-do(two)
A:Awesome !

After 45 minutes of heavy drinking.
A notices something.
A:That looks nice...that,your 'finger-ring'
B:Oh,I forgot to tell you.That's my engagement ring.I got engaged.
B:She's lovely,and I'm glad to be an important part of her life now.
B:Important.You misheard me.

After another 10 minutes of heavy drinking
A:Dude sometime back I checked out this amazing chick in N.A.And
a certain part of her body was...shiny
B:She must be a red head.
A:Nah.she was bald.

A woman approaches their table.
Woman:Hello guys(in her deep-throat voice)
Woman:Can I join you two?
A:Surely.We'd lust to have your company.
Woman:By the way,I'm new to this city.I come from Bangalore,the Silicon Valley.
A:Would you like to eat something.Help yourself,have these spring rolls
Woman:No.Thank you.I'm stuffed.
A:Okay.don't eat then...just swallow.

December 29, 2010


An old man once a revered cartoonist is now forgotten, hence bitter. Once his works in local magazines, newspapers and comics were most sought after.Now it’s all a thing of the past.Times have changed so has people’s interest.His recent works haven’t been getting any kind of desired attention.He’s financially almost broke,thanks to his erratic spending and bad investments.Living poorly through small pensions and meager royalty.Of all the many prizes and recognitions he has received over time,he ranks Padma Bhushan to be his biggest achievement He decides to auction it for two reasons.Firstly to amass enough money from the proceedings for better living and secondly to show people with the help of the media the plight of an artist in a country where money scores over art. False ambitions take over desires and dreams.

Old Man-Yes.I've decided,I'm hellbent on giving it away.
Friend -C'mon it's the biggest thing you have earned.It's the
symbol of your entire life's work and success.
Old Man-Well,I'll still have the pencil and paper.Though my
vision now is blurry and hands frail and shaky,I can still draw.I still have the will to draw and most importantly the will to live.
Friend -You should rather auction your will.I bet that will fetch you more money.
Old Man-That is probably a part in everyone which never wilts away with time.

The Day of the Auction.
To the Old man's dismay he hardly sees any media people in the lobby and even fewer bidders.A lady accompanied by her school going son,around six years of age successfully lands the bid.After the proceedings they go ahead and meet the old man.

Old Man-Hello!
Boy -Hello sir.
Old Man-Did you understand what all was happening in here?
Boy -No,sir.But I do want to tell you that I want to be an
Astronaut .I never want to be a painter or a cartoonist
or any other artist,because Mother tells me such people
don't earn enough and there's no stability in fi..nen...
(mother gives the boy 'don't say that' look.At the same time
her cellphone rings for which she thanks her stars and
readily excuses herself to receive it)
Old Man-You meant finance,right?
Boy -Yes.Finance.
Old Man-And why do you want to become an astronaut,son?And what does an astronaut do?
Boy -I don't know sir.But it sounds nice.I'd like to be called as an astronaut someday.
Old Man-You should not choose things or in this matter
profession on the basis of how it sounds,besides a musical instrument.It's much more than that.
Boy -I'd still like to be an astronaut.

Mother from a few distance,"C'mon son we have to leave,it's urgent
Papa had called.Say bye to sir."

Boy starts to leave the lobby with his mother.Watching this makes the old man unusually retreat to his glory days.Happy days.But now in a state of utter sadness he removes his spectacles and wipes its frame with a handkerchief,his heavily wrinkled hands shaking while doing so.He looks up and sees the boy running towards him.For once he assumes he's dreaming.
Boy -Will I ever become an astronaut,sir?(panting)
Old Man-The answer is in the question itself.It's the first word.
Boy -What?...Oh!I'd have to become Will Smith first.I've seen him fight the aliens in the movies.He's cool.
Old Man-Ha ha!By the way my name is William and you are?

July 23, 2010


Perhaps,in a year or two a metro railway will stand over this lane.Wonder how beneficial would it be.Will it become a prime target for terrorists?Anyway, completion is eagerly awaited.

My audacity to upload this bad quality picture makes me cringe.Notice the lonesome stray dog at the right bottom of the pic,I think it's looking for his/her bitch early in the morning.

June 16, 2010

'Bottoms Up'

As discontentment hits me to its supreme level,I decide to revive this blog after,to what it seems a three month sabbatical(not that I was busy all this time.)Being utterly careless,taking everything for granted including time.But there's this little flicker of hope,which assures me that everything will fall into the right place.

The base level of human existence,The Common Man,whose primary aim is to earn money for which he has to struggle every day,work under superiors,put up a brave face etc.I personally believe that one has made something out of his/her life only when they inspire.As George Best rightly said,"Even if one person thinks I'm the best,it will be enough for me".To be as funny as Chaplin.As poetic as Tagore.As simple as Gandhi.As genius as Einstein.As powerful as Robert de Niro's performance.As crazy as Jack Nicholson.As dangerous as Heath Ledger's Joker.As naive as Forrest Gump.As gritty as S.Waugh.Golden voice that of David Gilmour.As loyal as Karna.As legendary as The Beatles.As best as George Best.The list is endless.No evil eye will be able to cut through the mysticism and aura that surround such people.The only thing we can do is feel inferior in front of them.

And there are some people like Paris Hilton,Britney,Rakhi Sawant and countless teenage stars those who don't even deserve fame but have everything.A big FUCK YOU to them.

People say it's hard at the top, but it's even harder at the bottom.-Ozzy Osbourne.

P.S-I wish I was smart enough to understand each and every bit of High Hopes video.

March 4, 2010

Naughty India

It's kind of a movie moment where in an attractive woman standing or walking all pretty in a more or less crowded area is the centre of attraction for many men around.For instance 10-15 men within a radius of 20-30 metres will ogle or stare inconveniently at her.It gets funny when each out of those 15 men take a turn to have a sly glance at his fellow 14 onlookers and will console self for the fact that he is not the only one checking her out.All this 'analysis' and those subtle eye movements quickly gets over within a span of 10 seconds or less,assumingly.Every man will have their own description for the desired lady.The first one will say she's simply beautiful.The second will call her hot.The third person will probably say she's a slut and the rest might say 'Kya maal/item hai'.Fear of being judged or getting embarrassed are the reason for the no. of onlookers to get restricted to 15 than the potential 25-30.They also refrain from this procedure since they don't want to be a part of the 'uncultured' group.It's a hypocritical and judgemental world we're living in.Victim of our own society.

Those subtle eye movements.It's an art which many master as time progresses.The natures ultimate scanner which are of two types.The straight eye look and the corner of the eye look.I'd prefer the former one,but there are instances when your mind gives you orders,'Mahn she looks amazing,she deserves a second look'.And naturally your roving eyes responds to your mind's sheepish demand.

We Indians build a wall of guilt around us regarding lust.It's all chee and 'dirty' if you happen to lust for someone especially if the desired person is married.I can see couples showering their PDA for each other out of lust or genuine'louve'in movie theatres,beaches,gardens,isolated areas and even in railway stations.It's everywhere.Naughty India is the new India.Does it annoy me?Not at all.Firstly I don't care and secondly I don't belong to any pro-Hindu groups.

Vatsyayana is India's true ancient unsung hero.Foreigners are more interested in his works than us Indians,but India is still naughty in its own pretentious way.

March 1, 2010

Filmfar(c)e Awards

A front page image in today's leading newspaper showcased Deepika Padukone shaking her booty on stage,didn't tantalise me much,but the rest of the content sure did bring out an emotion.Hate.Forbid filmfare awards and all its like till the fraternity get replaced by unbiased and fair moderators.But I still follow Filmfare awards.The hypocrite in me doesn't allow me to ignore this event.I even enjoy some of the witty humour churned out by Ass-RK and his gay partner host.However these awards still gives me many reasons to hate them even more.Plus it adds as a good topic to discuss on with friends.Then despise them even further and kind of feel vindicated on such a trivial matter.

It has always been favouritism in such award ceremonies.Amitabh deservingly won Best Actor for Paa but why wasn't there a nomination for Abhay Deol in DevD atleast he was better than Saif Ali Khan or Ranbir Kapoor in APKGK.Anurag Kashyap snubbed again for Best Director.3 Idiots previous years biggest overrated movie bags all the popular awards.And what's with the critic award,worthy candidates get kicked on their backside and this kick is concealed by presenting this 'sympathy' award.Atleast Aamir has the balls to stand up against this bias and favouritism.How come I forgot Katrina Kaif's comical nomination for New York,what a joke.Heck I should now get a Filmfare for this worthless rant of mine.One can easily predict the coming year's awards.Best Actor will be either SRK for MNIK or Hrithik for Guzaarish.Vidya Balan's award for Ishqiya will be ignored for Kajol.Best movie will be MNIK for its so called 'good message'and blockbuster status.

February 23, 2010

Salim Langde pe mat ro

Don't cry for Salim,this English translated title sounds even more amusing than the original title.Besides that the cast is not far from being fascinating either.Salim,the protagonist is played by Pawan Malhotra(fame Nukkad,Black Friday)a uneducated small time petty thief.His partners in crime are Abdul(Ashutosh Gowarikar) and Peera(Makrand Deshpande).

This movie starts off amazingly with a well directed scene where Salim is walking aimlessly in the middle of the road with a certain swagger.At the same time he narrates in a typical slang Bombay accent that he's one of the many Salims around here,but he's different because of his unusual walking style,hence the nickname Langda.Promises the viewers to tell his real life story and jokingly states it will have its fair share of lies.After that every thing goes downhill.The movie gets way too predictable,as in Salim's misfortune of being a part of a backward minority ghetto,his morals playing hide and seek,'I can't do nothing to come out of this situation' syndrome.And also tends to get very preachy,but a few might feel different.It has nothing new to offer except for Ashutosh Gowariker's bad acting and even dancing(imagine him dancing in a movie in today's time,would be even more priceless.Good that he ventured into direction).Pawan Malhotra's acting is good but far less better than Black Friday.It's a pity that an actor of such caliber is so underrated and overlooked in Bollywood.All he now gets to do is forgettable roles with a meager 10-12 minutes of screen time.This movie came out in 1989 it was that period where parallel cinema was dying a slow death.All of a sudden Switzerland was the new desired location for commercial cinema in the early nineties.It won a National Award for cinematography.It's amazing how your city looked for good or for bad some 20 years ago.Perhaps I'll be biased,in denial or be true/false in saying that Bombay of the 70s and 80s looks much better than today's Mumbai in movies.That's the beauty of cinema,not only it inspires but also makes you wonder.

February 18, 2010

The Good,the Bad and the Ugly

The standoff scene from this movie is simply awe-inspiring.Clint Eastwood is STYLE personified,so is the entire movie.The build up to this finale induces thrill,heightens tension and what not.Ennio Morricone's captivating background score accentuates the beauty of this standoff even further.Everlasting!

January 30, 2010

Laziness='Coolness' ??

The most common aspects I've come across in almost every interesting blog I ventured into are laziness and procrastination.Somehow,shamelessly I feel happy for the fact that I'm no different.Thus,there are people far away with whom I can relate to.It's like a satisfaction which serves no purpose,really.

Out of all this I've come to this bitter conclusion that laziness is like the 'in thing'.It's like a fashion statement."I'm lazy and I'm proud to be one" is like a macho thing to say now-a-days.As i say again I'm no different.I belong to the same category and it's not a nice feeling.I have made this observation that we lazy people have this notion that we belong to the interesting breed,whereas the general assumption of the 'others' are that we're plain boring.

The inability to overcome laziness is profound.Activities are like forever forsaken.Laziness gets a strong grip over you even before you realise it. It's like a disease,which most of us enjoy being a victim of.
The only positive for me to come out of laziness is that it unknowingly prompted me to resort to blogging which in turn gives me an opportunity to know more about myself and it also gives me the space to rant out my opinions.

P.S-hate to use the word coooool but exceptions can be made.